Everyone who is mostly willing and at least able to be in a
relationship wants the perfect partner. Not necessarily the Hollywood
clichéd finish sentences and have the same favourite colour partner
but the one who suits them perfectly. Here’s where the trouble begins.
You meet the coolest woman you know. Maybe she’s a little mouthy, sexy as hell and very intelligent but you feel drawn to this person
physically, emotionally and or mentally. Then it happens. Something
that you can’t get pass or that you can’t stand gets in the way. Maybe
she’s a smoker (deal breaker for me), possibly she’s an atheist or she
could be a proud member of the KKK. Whatever the case, it really buries
you deeply. Why couldn’t she have the occasional drink or love God or
think that white people and black people can live in harmony?
Although I know of no members of the KKK or the like, I have over the
years met women that I felt so attached to but sadly some characteristic
I couldn’t get over. Though my examples mentioned above could be seen as a bit extreme, there are several situations you find yourself in at times where some less extreme conditions cost you. I was talking with a friend some years ago who was almost everything I would like in a girlfriend. Granted we don’t know what someone will be in a relationship because what you see is hardly what you get but she did have those qualities. When mom died she was one of the two women who were really there for me and I began to appreciate her even more. The problem was that she was too smothering and that’s one thing I cannot deal with. Believe me I have tried but I can’t take it and it’s so sad sometimes that you can’t or at least don’t pursue relationship because of a few things.
These situations happen to us far too often. Should we ignore the
attributes that we abhor and give the person a chance. Well I don’t know
because those factors will have to be considered on an individual level
but I have through the course of time refused to give in. Maybe if there is
a next time I should try to see what happens. Then again, maybe not.
In my opinion, if you try to ignore the attributes you abhor…you won’t really be happy from inside out! But then, we need to be a little bit flexible with what we are looking for as no one is ever perfect! A little bit of change in our attitude can really cry out happy tears in a relationship…I have been through a real tough time myself you can
Contd…
Say similar situation as yours…I cleansed my mind, wrote down things that I am looking for in my right one..there were situations when I started feeling oh no..may be I have refused to give in!! But when I changed my attitude a little bit..I did meet my mr right..everything I was looking for in a partner….
That’s what I meant when I said it depends on individual preferences. Only you can decide which thing you can take a chance with and even so it doesn’t mean it will turn out good. Glad yours did. Thanks for reading
Well, it just depends on what you consider to be deal breakers and what one feels he can deal with. You have to know what your preferences are versus the requirements. Who knows? Certain things you thought you couldn’t deal with now may not be as much of a big deal years later.